save the brains

I’m sure all of my readers know that November is Epilepsy Awareness Month. (I do have readers… don’t I?)

I have written about our journey with epilepsy through this blog, as well as Caringbrigde (those entries can be found in the “about us” section). We’ve fought this demon for over 8 years now.

Becca has faced delays in development since she was an infant. At two months old she wasn’t turning her head and tracking like she should have been doing. Head control was lacking.

So many of my friends story of their child’s journey with Infantile Spasms or Lennox Gastaut detail how their child was developing normally until the seizures hit. Perhaps the child was even ahead.
Becca has never been developmentally normal much less ahead. However I have never given much thought to her regressing.

That is until today. I spent a little time looking through some old emails. The good thing about using MS Outlook to read my emails is I am able to save emails, even when our internet provider has changed over the years. I have emails dating back to January 2006.

I could see where I would talk with other families on this journey about my concerns and my joys. I could see where I would rejoice in new skills Becca had gained. I realized many of them were seen only briefly, sometimes to never be seen again. Sometimes the skills would just stay stagnate for years. Sure she was doing some cruising of furniture at 18 months. Little did I know at the time it would be years before she would actually walk on her own. That she would effectively stop crawling. So much so that if it were not for old emails or other journals I would think she never crawled.
I am shocked to see proof that she once babbled – A LOT. Now, she is quiet most of the day, making very few noises.

Rarely do I think in terms of what this horrible seizure disorder stole from her. Rather I think of what she never had. It is very sad to look back and see there have been times when she has a lot, and then it slipped away. Over and over again.
Lennox Gastaut is a horrible monster.
As she gets older I am seeing that more and more. I see what her having TWO episodes of Non-Convulsive Status Epilepticus this year have done to her.
So knowing the damage that the multiple seizures a day, every day has done to her brain I know that this November the idea of “Save the Brains” resonates even deeper with our family.

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